Two Weeks of Non-Gaming

Waking up that first morning in Hawaii I could almost see Kabuto crashing along the beach. When we actually got to the beach I suddenly found myself in a Leisure Suit Larry fantasy world. The Pro Bowl was being held the next day and there were cheerleaders everywhere! Most of them clad in bikinis and sunscreen.

"Your mouth is open, dear," my wife said.

"No it’s not," my mouth dry. I started whistling that familiar Larry tune.

Playing in the surf was tons of fun. Occasionally a wave taller than me would sweep in and slam me into the sand.

"Are you having fun, dear?" my wife said.

Amid coughing and sputtering, "Yeah!"

My son learned to throw sand, mostly into the surf, but sometimes at people. He’s so sweet and innocent he doesn’t realize how painful it is to have an eye and an earful of sand. To him it was a game – to everyone else, a bloodsport.

After a hard day of lying on the beach, eating shaved ice, and building sand castles it was back to the hotel for a shower ("How did sand get in there?") and some dinner. But before that could happen we had to wait for the elevator, which had a mind of its own. It showed up without being called and it constantly buzzed angrily if the doors stayed open too long. Eventually it arrived.

"Elevator Action!" I thought as we neared our floor.

The elevator responded to this by stopping inbetween the 12^th and 13^th Floors. Minutes passed before the maintenance staff finally freed us.

When we went to the Honolulu Zoo, my hat was stolen by a chimpanzee (a true Mario moment) during a "chance to meet the chimpanzees". He grabbed it off my head and ran back into the chimp compound. But not content with stealing my hat, the chimp wiped his bum with it! One of the zoo staff commented, "That Tongo, he sure is a weird one." Another employee asked if I wanted my hat back. I looked over to see Tongo using it as a urinal.

"He can keep it." And as far as I know, he still has it.

On our visit to Diamond Head, we could see a four-masted schooner. And just at that moment we could hear the soft music from a steel drum. Nothing says "Monkey Island!" quite like a steel drum.

We rented a car and made a visit to the Dole Plantation, home of the World’s Largest Maze according the Guiness Book of 1998. We did go through the maze but because I got lost and started freaking out – my wife says I was shouting "Josh! Josh! Oh my God , we’re going to die out here!" – I didn’t manage to complete it. After a slight detour we found ourselves on the north side of the island where we got to see some serious surf.

"Da?" my son said.

"You see those people?" I asked.

"Da!"

"They’re nuts."

"Da?"

"Because those waves can snap a person in half. People get smashed into the rocks and corral, breaking their legs and bringing sorrow to their parents." I pointed out to surfer just getting up on his board to catch a wave. He misjudged it and fell, disappearing under the waves.

"Uh oh," my son said.

"Uh oh, indeed," I said. Then I thought, "The only safe way to surf is to play California Games."

"Would you stop talking like that?" my wife asked.

"Indeed," I said.

After the first seven days were over I had successfully worked through my withdrawal. I no longer saw game characters or hotel lobbies that resembled Quake death match levels. I felt good, relaxed – I only thought of the site once and when I found out Internet access was going to cost $5 for 15 minutes I never thought of it again. It was a fun time and a very happy vacation.

So, it can be done. Non-gaming is possible. Sure, you’ll suffer hallucinations at first but they’ll pass and you’ll find yourself doing things you might not normally do, like sleep, eat, spend time with your family, read, and go for walks. You’ll find there’s more to life than the latest games. The two weeks taught me that a more healty balance can be struck. Try it, you’ll like it.

- Omni

P.S. When I got home I mainlined 4 hours of No One Lives Forever.