M.R.I. #5: Sony's Dead Goat, EA Canada, and Thos Infernal Achievement Points - Editorials

More Randomness from the Internet (M.R.I.) is an on-going editorial series from The Armchair Empire's Omni.

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M.R.I. #5

Sony's Dead Goat, EA Canada, and Those Infernal Achievement Points

From “Sony’s Big Dead Headless Goat” God of War II Launch Party

sony's goat

We’re absolutely okay with young, thin, female models cavorting among the gaming media elite – if such a class exists – dropping grapes into gaping mouths, but apparent animal cruelty? That’s just plain sick!

Sony is digging themselves out of yet another PR nightmare with the latest revelations in OPM (the European version) of a headless goat that was featured at a launch party for God of War II. This wasn’t some kind of fancy silicon fabrication, this was an authentic goat. More accurately, an authentic dead goat. OPM didn’t just tell its readers about the event, they had pictures.

Officially, Sony vowed to “get to the bottom” of how such a tasteless display was included.

"Whilst we pride ourselves on creating engaging experiences we are committed to making sure these are appropriate in nature and do not cause offence to either attendees or our consumers in general."

"We are conducting an internal inquiry into aspects of the event in order to learn from the occurrence and put into place measures to ensure that this does not happen again."

Inside sources say this virtually scraps Sony’s upcoming ad campaign, which featured the slogan, “Buy this Playstation 3 or we’ll kill this goat.”

I’m kidding about that last part.

From a recent trip to EA Canada

After almost seven full years of plugging away at the Armchair Empire and I’ve never been to EA Canada, though it’s practically a stone’s throw away from where

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I’m typing this. That all changed recently when I was invited to a Media Open House on the eve of the Vancouver Games Summit, which EA is anchoring.

The announcements were of the business variety – local initiatives to pour money into programs to educate and prepare more folks for the rigors of game development. That part was great -- it's great to see EA involved with the community.

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But the real highlight was being given a tour of a portion of the EA Canada complex and the fact I can cross off “Visit world’s largest motion capture studio” on my list of 100 Things to Do Before I Die. In a massive hanger-sized space, EA has two motion capture studios which have been visited by a whole host of sports stars and celebrities. The most interesting bit of trivia is that Tiger Woods has never been to the studio – he’s so busy EA packs the whole works up and drives it down to wherever Tiger is, sets it up, does mo-cap for a bit, then packs it up again to be taken back to the Great White North.

In general, the place is a massive, futuristic-looking place, with lots of exposed steel, walkways and glass. It sports over 400,000 square feet of space, a 1/2 size soccer field, volleyball court, and basketball court. But it doesn’t stop there. There’s a gym, a fitness center that’s open 24-hours a day… just thinking about it makes my head spin a little. (I’ve been to other developers and, no kidding, they’d easily fit inside the mo-cap studio.) It was with a stunned silence that our small group of media was given a whirlwind tour of the place. We marched everywhere in a straight line, and really we should have buddied-up or held on to a long rope, because it would have completed the picture I had in my head: a bunch of kindergarten kids on a special field trip.

Going through the office spaces is bad enough, but when we parade through the main cafeteria at lunch time… it was like an out of body experience. Nearly everyone in our group lugged an array of shoulder-mounted cameras and sound equipment with them so I’m sure the EA employees happily enjoying their lunches were none to happy to see us.

Anyway, EA Canada is a massive place. I just wish it hadn’t taken me seven years to make it there.

From my thoughts on (idiotic) Xbox 360 Achievements

achievement unlocked

* Graphic generated by "Achievement Unlocked Generator."

Some Xbox 360 owners out there have a dire predication for you: unlocking achievements to boost your Gamerscore can become all-consuming if you let it.

For those unfamiliar with how this works, I’ll briefly explain. For nearly all Xbox 360 games there are 1,000 possible achievement points to earn. How they are doled out depends completely on the game. Capcom’s Dead Rising approach was to award 20 points for 50 different Achievements, while a game like Fuzion Frenzy 2 practically puts the Achievements in your pocket. These achievement points are added to your Gamerscore which is indelibly attached to your identity (officially known as your “Gamertag”).

A high Gamerscore means that you’ve spent more hours of your life on digital entertainment – known to some as “A Complete Waste of Your Life” – than people with lesser Gamerscores. But you can’t do anything with this score. You can’t trade in points for free downloads and there was a quarter-heart attempt by Microsoft to make them worth something during the "Old Spice Challenge."

So why do I get a thrill every time I unlock one? Why do I spend countless hours trying to unlock “Secret Achievements” which you are encouraged to unlock “by playing the game”?

And if a Secret Achievement is riding a six-legged tangerine through a thunderstorm of amebas, while picking off a specific number of blue wasps and fighting an end boss, TELL ME! Even if Achievements mean nothing and a Gamerscore indicates only how much of your life you’ve twiddled away with your thumbs, I still want the option of trying for that magic number of wasps to see the “Achievement Unlocked” logo pop up. Otherwise, even if I “play the game” for hours on end, I may never figure out what those achievements are! Developers, don’t keep them a secret! I don’t want to waste anymore of my life than I have to!

Of course, I could always look online…

Note: My Gametag is “AEOmni” – add me to your Friends list if you’d like. Which actually brings up another point. I’ve been meaning to change my Gamertag to “AE_Omni” but that underscore will cost me 800 points, which means real money, but that’s a subject for another time.

- Omni

(May 4, 2007)


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