M.R.I. #6: Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner, Halo 3 Multiplayer, and E3 Free - Editorials

More Randomness from the Internet (M.R.I.) is an on-going editorial series from The Armchair Empire's Omni.

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M.R.I. #6

Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner, Halo 3 Multiplayer, and E3 Free

On the Halo 3 Multiplayer Beta

While normally I avoid any Xbox 360 activity which doesn’t net me Achievements, over the last couple of weeks I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time playing the Halo 3 Multiplayer Beta. Even more out of character was that I managed to compete quite well against the faceless rabble over Live.

halo 3 multiplayer

Normally, I’m the one that walks around with the big “shoot me” target on my back – even stretching back to Unreal Tournament and Counter-Strike – and the first few rounds of the multiplayer beta were no different. Even bounding around the battlefield I couldn’t avoid being sniped or tagged with the Spartan laser – or blowing myself up with a randomly thrown grenade. But last night, I was suddenly on fire. I started with a trio of kills in the first minute of the match. I made a double kill with a grenade. I narrowly dodged a Spartan laser while jumping off a Warthog then sideling up to the shooter and whacking him with the butt of my shotgun. It immediately went to my head – I hadn’t been in first place since a truly awe inspiring Quake death match in 1996. It’s a testament to Bungie’s matchmaking.

But the best part was that I saved the “film” for re-viewing any time I want. Though the graphics are pumped up, the sound is awesome, the weapons are fun to use, and the controls have never felt more comfortable, this film feature is the

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best new addition to the Halo franchise. Even if the weapons are all retooled before the official release and the environments are all remodeled to resemble the inside of a rutabaga, if the replay feature is included, Halo 3 will instantly be in the running for Game of the Year. Now instead of just telling your buddies about the great Halo 3 match you had, you can start up the film and prove it.

Genius!

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On the first May in 12 years that was free of E3

Yes, E3, in its ribald and showy best, has been canceled, the spirit lives on like some kind of spectral entity that shows up once in a while to hurl dishes and flick the lights on and off. Though there was no E3 event, May was a big month for the major publishers for revealing new games and providing updates on games in development. Sony had a “Gamers Day”; Sega, Capcom, Square-Enix, and Nintendo had events; and Blizzard went all the way to South Korea to announce StarCraft II. It was a big month for reveals and new information – and one that I’ll get to in a minute – but it was spread out over the entire month, which made it impossible for anyone from the Armchair Empire to attend.

We’re all saddled with day jobs so going to our bosses (and/or our significant others) and asking for a month off to fiddle around with videogames – traveling to South Korea and Japan in the process – would have been met with laughter.

E3 proper – well, the new E3 at least – doesn’t happen until July so will there be anything nifty, new, and gnarly to look at and play? When I start to thing about it, I really start to wonder with another month how many more announcements will be made? Am I spending money on a three day event that will be a waste of time? I have my fingers crossed that it won’t be.

On the announcement of a Dirty Dancing game

From somewhere out of left field, this bit of news came to us courtesy Codemasters. To commemorate the 20^th Anniversary of Dirty Dancing – Patrick Swayze in his defining role – a Dirty Dancing game is, unbelievably, in the works. Though it's only been loosely described -- "play through a fantastic variety of fun mini-games and earn camp dollars to purchase Dirty Dancing® memorabilia, cabin furnishings, and the all-important dance lessons with Johnny and Penny" -- which sounds a lot like The Sims or, so help me, Leisure Suit Larry Magna Cum Laude, I can't help shake the feeling that Dirty Dancing could be a DDR “homage” the likes of which we’ve never seen before.

dirty dancing

No doubt we’ll get a throwback to a 1980’s view of the 1960’s – when people were “in trouble” and things needed “fixing” and watermelons were the main draw for any afterhours orgy of clothed pelvis grinding and the leather-jacketed bad boy gets the girl and swings a big friggin’ ballroom full of old people into a dancing frenzy. This has “video game” streaked across it in big day-glow lettering!

Sarcasm aside, the soundtrack practically defined my closing years of elementary school so there’s definitely some nostalgia at work here, particularly for the ladies. The official announcement harps on the whole “young girls and women” will oh and ah over this – by which I can only guess they must be referring to a shirtless Patrick Swayze.

Maybe E3 will be worth it just to see what they’re going to do with this license…

- Omni

(June 1, 2007)


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