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Weekly Top 10: Best Cleavageby Omni
March 13, 2006
Cleavage: the depression between a woman's breasts especially when made visible by the wearing of a low-cut dress.
If there's one consistent criticism of the gaming industry, it's that right on down the line -- publishers, developers, gamers -- the industry is full of immature and (evidently) sex-starved males. Not wanting to upset that particular applecart I'm here to reinforce the idea by showcasing 10 of the best examples of video game cleavage. It not only demonstrates the kind sexualizing of the female forms that goes on in the gaming industry, it also provides a peek into the mind of a gaming "journalist." So, so after doing some research and jotting down some notes, here are, in no particular order, the top 10 examples of video game cleavage:
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Mai Shinranui (Fatal Fury)
After about five seconds playing as Mai in any fighting game she appears in, you'll notice two things: her breasts move on their own -- I'm pretty sure they have some level of intelligence -- and how does an outfit like that keep her contained? I mean, she's jumping around performing all manner of kicks and punches and not once is there a nipple slip!
With the current console hardware getting closer and closer to photorealism, it's not hard to image why cleavage is such a selling point.
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Eve (Leisure Suit Larry I)
When I first reached the "climax" of Leisure Suit Larry: In the Land of the Lounge Lizards, I was playing the 4-color CGA version. At the time EGA (16 colors!) was pretty much the pinnacle of computer graphics but it was enough to kick-start my adolescent yearnings. Since its original release in 1987, Larry spawned a series that has earned itself the label of "classic." Even with all the crazily animated women of subsequent games, Eve's cleavage has not been matched. The water line and bubbles were so perfect... Eve illustrates that even a bit of modesty can elevate arousal.
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Lara Croft (Tomb Raider)
Even though Lara has undergone quite a few changes over the years, one thing has remained unchanged. From blocky, angular models to the more realistic appearance of today (pictured) Lara's cleavage has pretty much remained the same (okay, so even that's changed over the years).. And for good reason. Though the series has been, according to some, on a downhill slide since the first game released in 1996 the series tends to sell well. One reason, okay, two reasons. Forget market forces and PR hype machines, it's all about plunging necklines.
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Spellcasting 301: Spring Break
Steve Meretsky will be remembered for many things and one them will be the Spellcasting games. It was a text-based adventure series which reached its apex with Spellcasting 301 which followed the exploits of wizard-in-training Ernie Eaglebeak at Fort Naughtytail on a Spring Break bacchanalia of booze and (possibly) sex. The game featured the usual Spring Break competitions like tanning and a wet T-shirt contest, which were solved with a bit of spellcasting and a bit of logic. However, it was not a "pure" text game. A hand-painted graphic always occupied the top right of the screen and it was often of a barely-clothed co-ed. Sex sells -- I can think of no other reason why I ploughed through this game that killed me so many times.
Sidebar: It was the days before the Internet so I wrote a two-page letter to Legend Entertainment requesting help with a variety of 301's puzzles. They wrote me a letter back -- 4 pages! -- outlining the solutions. Where can we find customer service like that anymore?
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Felicia (Darkstalkers)
I admit I've only played Darkstalkers a handful of times but I always used Felicia to fight. The overall character design is intriguing because it's hard to draw the line between where the cat ends and the woman begins. And not only is the design a cosplay fans' dream come true, the character offers a whole Bond film's worth of "pussy" double entendres.
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The Barmaid (The Bard's Tale)
The Bard's Tale (2004) is a favorite title of mine because the protagonist eschews heroic one-man-army quests in favor of collecting loot and scoring with the ladies.
Early on in this action/role-playing game the barmaid makes an appearance and features without question one of the top five best examples of cleavage. The overall "skin factor" of the rest of the game never peaks like it does in the opening chapter, at least you know the barmaid is easy to find.
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Dixie (Rumble Roses)
When the Playstation 2 original was released I was fairly certain that developer Jukes has afforded 50% of their development time getting the breasts of the characters just right. It should go without saying that the game feature some spectacular cleavage (and promises to do more of the same when Rumble Roses XX ships later this year), particularly Dixie but then I've always had a thing for blonde ladies wearing chaps (not pictured).
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Aida (Unreal II)
It seems that sci-fi has a penchant for dressing its female characters in extremely impractical gear.
Exploring the vastness of deep space with a high chance of encountering alien hostilities? Here's a new-age fabric shirt with a slit down the middle so the rest of the crew can oogle you.
It's almost a wonder why they didn't just give her silver pasties to wear.
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Agent BloodRayne (BloodRayne)
While the first BloodRayne game feature cleavage it was jaggy, which is kind of the definition of unsexy. BloodRayne 2's version of Agent BloodRayne was noticeably smoother. This was very noticeable in the October 2004 issue of Playboy, which featured a topless BloodRayne (an issue that I only bought for the articles). But cleavage isn't really apparent when a character is topless. It's a "forest through the trees" thing.
Rayne is a funky evening gown is far sexier than a topless Rayne.
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Tina Armstrong (Dead or Alive)
Tina has donned a variety of gear (and even changed her hair color) since her initial appearance in the November 1996 arcade release of the fighting game, Dead or Alive. But it appears that Tina -- or the salivating artist that models her -- has a real need to reveal her cleavage. While she's never been afraid of exposing herself to, uh, danger in the fighting ring, her cleavage-wielding personality was fully explored with the release of 2003's Xtreme Beach Volleyball.
While there's an argument to made that all the girls from the Dead or Alive series -- Lei Fang, Kasumi, Ayanne, Helena, Christie, Lisa, Hitomi -- should have been included on the list of the Top Ten Best Cleavage, but I'm writing the list so I get to choose. |
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