If you've ever wanted to be a fly on the wall at the Armchair Empire, here's your second chance. This time we gab about E3, the games that were shown, and a variety of aspects about the show you might not find anywhere else, like the definition of "62,000 industry professionals". Granted it's rambling (much like E3 itself) but you'll learn something -- really!

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Roundtable 2: Post E3 2003

Omni: Check, check. Is this on?

Eric (the new guy): I hear ya.

Omni: Lee, you there?

Lee: Yeah, right here

Omni: Good, good. Lee, had a chance to see any video from the games at E3?

Lee: I spent a few hours checking out all the E3 videos on Xbox Live – saw some stuff on G4 too.

Omni: And what most impressed you?

Lee : One that caught my eye that I never heard about before was Full Spectrum Warrior..looks pretty good... Heard Halo 2 was the star of E3, although I haven't seen that yet. Ninja Gaiden was another..the movie I saw was THE best I ever saw in a game...if that is how the game graphics look, WOW!

Omni: I dunno. I kind of went "Ho hum" after the demo of Halo 2. I think a lot of the graphical updates were completely lost on the crummy screens they were running it on. Tecmo's booth was poor in terms of showing off games. DOA Online might interest you...

Lee: I saw DOA Online; looked very interesting, although the graphics seemed a little toned down (I guess so it plays smoother online); Half-Life 2 looked good.

Eric: Half-life 2 was the best graphical game there. Along with technologically advanced. The physics and AI of the game look unmatched.

Omni: HL2's physics look downright amazing, but I really would have liked some hands on.

Lee: Is that Xbox-exclusive (on consoles)?

Omni: HL2? I think so. But I’ve been wrong numerous times before. An Xbox title that kind of underwhelmed me was Conker's. They were just showing multiplayer and not single player (which is supposed to be nearly identical to the N64 game).

Eric: True. Though the game was still hilarious and staying close to its roots.

Omni: The funniest game I saw was Armed & Dangerous. That's one to watch in terms of hilarity.

Lee: How's Soul Calibur look?

Omni: It's looking.... done. Don't know why they're dragging their feet releasing it in North America.

Eric: I was surprised there was nothing on Operation Flashpoint 2.

Omni: There was a few games that didn't show up on the floor. Like Psychonauts or hahahaha, Duke Nukem Forever.

Lee: For nostalgia's sake, I want to see how the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles turns out, although disappointingly it doesn't follow the more gritty comic book turtles compared to the kid's cartoon

Eric: At least the gameplay dynamics were that of the SNES title. The robotic dogs didn't hurt either

Omni: TNMT definitely.

Lee: Did Sony actually show their handheld? That seemed to be the most intriguing announcement at the show.

Eric: They just showed the size of the disc. It looks like a Mini-Disc CD (if that helps with a picture)

Omni: I didn't see it but then I didn't have much time to just wander aimlessly. They showed the Eye Toy. Check the pic near the bottom.

Eric: The Eye-Toy was complete garbage. If you want to lose weight, go out for a jog. If you want to look like an a--hole, buy Eye-Toy.

Omni: Lee, how would you rate G4's coverage. (I saw their camera crews everywhere!)

Lee: The big coverage kicks off around the first of the month but they've shown a lot of glimpses (on Pulse and G4TV.COM) of some of the games.

Omni: G4 was being played on TVs all over the place with news from the day before. Actually, it was handy.

Mr. Nash: I wasn't too terribly taken with anything from this E3. About the only thing I raised an eyebrow at was the Sony handheld, everything else we either already knew about it or suffers from the same cookie-cutter-itis that's been infecting the industry for years now. I'm not too excited with Half-Life or Halo 2 or PN03 or the new Mario Kart...the list just goes on.

Omni: Mr. Nash, you cynical bastard.

Mr. Nash: Well, if these people would stop giving me so much to fuel my cynicism we wouldn't have this problem. We should do an "attack of the clones" piece that takes a very close look at some big name games and see just how similar they are.

Omni: That's something Doug Lowestein, Presidnet IDSA pointed out in his address too. "Gamers demand too much innovation," to paraphrase. “No other industry has so many demands on it to be innovative with each new title.” Again, paraphrasing.

Mr. Nash: Bah, most companies seem to look for a winning formula now to maiximze profits, and that's it.

Omni: Am I just making you mad now? But profits are getting slimmer so can you really blame them for wanting some cash?

Mr. Nash: The game industry is like half of the movie or music industry, where gaming follows the blockbuster half of those industries, going for popular genres, then milking the hell out of them. But music and film also have a very robust independent scene that's easily accessible for those who want it. Gaming can't have that because of the costs involved (outside of the mod community), so we're stuck with largely rehashes.

Omni: We're headed for a gaming crash.... mark my words. I mean, the first signal is that Midway's Hitz will feature five players instead of three. Sports games will remain strong though. They're social.

Mr. Nash: Doesn't help that for every good game five pieces of shit come out that should never have been conceived in the first place, invariably tanking.

Lee: Profits getting slimmer? Not for everybody!! Sega's back in the black, which is hard to believe after all the bad luck they've had.

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Mr. Nash: I predict Acclaim won't even exist by next E3. 3DO will be on the cusp of bankruptcy I'm sure. (Editor’s Note: According to recent news reports, 3DO has filed for bankruptcy protection.)

Lee: What piqued my interest was two sports game-related developments: the establishment of XSN and EA's PS2-only online gaming; add Sega's online sports titles on Xbox (PS2 too?) and there's going to be a sports gaming war this fall, especially for the online market. But I was disappointed by Rare's Kameo – looked like a girl's game!!! Where the hell's Perfect Dark?

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Omni: Kameo actually looked a little deeper once you started to play it.

Lee: Flying fairy?? Too much girlie!!

Mr. Nash: The industry needs to clean house in a major way. See, this is why I don't like discussing E3. I get even MORE bitter than usual.

Omni: Wasn't E3 tonight's topic? But there's good stuff out there too...... quick name something!

Mr. Nash: Knights of the Old Republic, Final Fantasy Online, Viewtiful Joe, Baldur’s Gate: Dark Alliance II look promising, but we already knew about those.

Omni: Pirates of the Caribbean, Call of Cthulth, looked interesting, as did Wrath.

Lee: Did you check out the sex show..er...Tecmo DOA show that caused so much of a stir?

Eric: Sex shower? Where???

Omni: Sex show? Was that with the Monster Rancher characters?

Eric: I thought that cabbage looking thing was mighty sexy.

Lee: I saw THAT on G4!!

Omni: This is why I don't watch TV. I only saw the 1,000 or so sweaty gamer stereotypes posing with wigged models. Kinda creepy. Yeah, I took photos but I'm not in any of them! At one time I think Tecmo made games. Rumor has it.

Lee: Some E3 on Pulse right now...Socom II right now and Jak II...(sequelitis)

Omni: Played a bit of Jak II. Kept dying. Whatever happened to pick-up and play? (True pick-up and play.) At least in the console realm. PC games are a different breed when it comes to control.

Lee: How'd World of Warcraft look? And Starcraft Ghost? Ghost looked okay on TC, how did it play?

Eric: Ghost was...decent. But since they recently delayed it till 2004, I am forced to say it was terrible.

Omni: It's shaping up. I hate making judgement calls on unfinished games. World of Warcraft looked pretty nice too, but I was more interested in NCSoft's City of Heroes. Ghost is shaping up.

Eric: XIII was the most innovative. I loved the cel shaded look on a FPS.

Omni: I loved the fact it was demoed to me by one of the developers with a heavy French accent. Brings that extra level of immersion!

Eric: Yeah, those Ubi Soft Montreal guys are unbearable.

Omni: No, he was from France.

Eric: Really? Oh.

Lee: That's supposed to have Xbox Live support, and looked good with its comic book looks

Omni: Actually, that’s one of the cooler aspects of E3 – having the makers show you the ropes and explain what they're trying to do.

Lee: Glimpse the next Splinter Cell? Screenshots look amazing

Eric: Other than the screenshots...I've seen nothing.

Omni: It's more Splinter Cell, which is a good thing. That's another problem with E3 – there are so many games being shown. At the end of it, it's hard to connect screens with titles.

Eric: I wish they were giving away better things. Other than the PS2 demo of Jak II, free magazines, and Americas Army keyboard I stole...there was nothing else.

Mr Nash: I don't care about free stuff, just want the asset discs and some time with the developers/games .

Omni: Got a few t-shirts, stickers, knick-knacks but nothing really useful. Although, Nintendo did give me ice cream.

Lee: There WAS 62,000 people at E3...could you imagine if they gave away games to everybody?

Mr. Nash: Mints!

Omni: Like I was telling Mr. Nash before, not many people used mints. And the official term was "62,000 industry professionals".

Mr. Nash: Hahahahahahahahaha! I spell spin with a B and an S

Omni: SPIN, baby! I'm not kidding, that was the official release from IDSA who put on the show.

Eric: How tall are you Lee? If you're over 6 feet I'm quitting.

Omni: Lee can stare down Shaq.

Lee: Just touching the six foot mark

Mr. Nash: Titans!

Eric: I think I'll find a "smaller" site to work at.

Omni: Lee, would you be interested in going next year? This is based on the assumption the site will be swimming in money and offset some of your costs.

Mr. Nash: It'll be great when we really are an Empire and get the front seats for everything, blocking everyone's view with our site. "Biggest staff in gaming!"

Omni: We need more guys on the ground. It's not a show that can be covered by one person.

Mr. Nash: Yeah, we need at least 5 to make a phalanx

Eric: Biggest site excluding me!

Omni: Eric, you around 5'5"?

Eric: More like 5’9”, but I still feel short.

Lee: I wanted to go this year, but I just started a new job, with no time off built up and not much money...so next year I may be able to give it a go.

Mr. Nash: I should ask all new writers how tall they are.

Omni: It would be great to get more guys from the site there. Not only to finally meet face-to-face but also be able to get a more rounded picture of the show.

Eric: True. And a digital camcorder wouldn't hurt.

Lee: My son's pushing to go with me..he's a big gamer.. .but he's only 14, and you have to be 18 to get in...

Omni: Digital camera, sure. But I think the camcorder thing is a waste (unless it's for "personal" use later). I saw too many people crash into things trying to film. Lee, the three days I was there I only saw one person under 18 and that was some big wig's son – they do a pretty good job enforcing the 18 and over rule.

Lee: Yeah, I know...

Eric: Enforcing? I saw them do nothing.

Mr. Nash: Or there's a lot of teens on testosterone supplements. Including the girls!

Omni: Are you kidding? They had those little bag check stickers. Tight, man, tight!

Eric: True.

Omni: But I did see the convention staff turn people away from Media only venues.

Eric: TELL ME ABOUT IT!

Mr. Nash: You got in there okay though, Omni?

Omni: Oh yeah. But my badge always managed to be turned the wrong way. It was always, "Sir, SIR, can I see your badge!"

Mr. Nash: I think they were making a pass at you. You were the secret crush of E3 2003!

Omni says: That's one thing I wasn't prepared for. Everyone's badge hangs at chest level.... can you see where I'm going with this?

Mr. Nash: I'll tie mine to my belt buckle...like mistletoe

And so the Roundtable continued on a downward spiral. Here’s a snippet just after Tolen joined the discussion:

Mr. Nash: Eric was a bit upset that a lot of us are lubering giants

Omni: I'm not lubering anything!

Mr. Nash: lumbering

Tolen: Well, I've got giant lumber, does that count?

After that it was a dog’s breakfast of topics and one-liners about having kids, getting “fixed”, GameSpot’s new design, Armchair Empire’s relationship with Capcom, Mr. Nash learning Japanese, and search engines. Basically, we deviated from the topic. Again. One of these days we’ll stick to the topic.

(June 1, 2003)


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