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End of Year Awards: 2002
End of Year Awards are always a bit fun to award, especially the decision making process which generally entails drinking heavily and eating too much cabbage. This year was no different. It was actually a pretty good year for gaming; PC games thundering along, GameCube and Xbox coming into their own, and Playstation 2 getting the job done. There were ups, there were downs, but there was always fun... okay, not always fun but you get the picture. Read on and see which game was awarded Best Crowd of the Year, Worst Excuse of Softcore Pornography Masquerading as a Videogame, and PC Game of the Year, among many others.
Best
Game No One Heard Of: Victorious Boxers (PS2) I
was one of the fortunate gamers that got to play this game.
Although it was quirky and eccentric, I still think it is the
best boxing game on the market and probably the best-kept sports game
secret (except maybe ISS: Pro Evolution to the casual gamer).
One
of the Best Gaming Moments Missed in Real Life: Inserting New York Mets catcher Mike Piazza as a pitcher and beaning New York Yankees catcher Roger Clemens in the head. I did so in High Heat, Triple Play, and All-Star Baseball. Piazza threw the hardest in Triple Play.
Award
for Popping Out Add-Ons Faster than Gerbils Make Babies: The Sims How
many add-ons are there? Are
there add-ons for the add-ons?
Proof that Beating a Dead Horse Can Keep a Series Alive and Well: The Sims A
quirky game that has blossomed into a nice little cash cow.
Each subsequent expansion pack adds new things that really do
make the game more fun.
Biggest
Waste of Money for a Christmas Present for 2002:
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Award
for Funniest Moment at a Videogame Store: Hearing
one GameStop employee explain to a father and his eight-year old son
that GTA: Vice City is not appropriate for his kid only to be told by
the father that he was buying the game for himself. The employee looked
like an ass, but he was really just doing his job.
Worst Excuse of Softcore Pornography Masquerading as a Videogame: |
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BMX XXX Are
you kidding me? When are the Girls Gone Wild video games coming out?
Will Snoop Dogg be in them?
The "If I See One More Game By..." I’m Going to Pull Out My Eyebrows Award: Mary Kate and Ashley games If
I have to suffer through seeing one more game on the shelf, I am gonna
drop kick myself into a dumpster.
Xbox
Live Game of the Year: MechAssault This
title alone is reason enough to get Xbox gamers to hook up to the Xbox
Live online gaming service. What’s not to like? Huge 'Mechs with big
weapons, great controls, massive destructible levels, and the Xbox Live
headset that allows for smack talking after you whooped some 'Mech
booty. Better yet Microsoft will be providing free new downloadable
elements, such as new 'Mechs, levels, and game modes. This is the future
of console gaming.
Wedgie-causing
Character Costume: Storm’s, from X-Men: Next
Dimension Did
her superheroine suit shrink at the cleaners? Has Magneto placed her
under the control of some kind of evil Bad Fashion Sense ray? As good as
her butt looks in that thongy costume, you just know Storm can’t be
very comfortable flying around in it.
Best
Licensed-based Xbox Game: Buffy the Vampire
Slayer Before
these three license-based games, Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the
Ring, Bruce Lee: Quest for the Dragon, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer came
out, how many of you honestly thought that Buffy the Vampire Slayer
would not only be the best license-based game of the three, but also one
of the best Xbox games of 2002 period? This title is a showcase for
future developers on how to create a great license-based videogame.
Gaming
News Story of the Year: (tie)
Microsoft buys Rare / The Sims Go Online Singling
out a particular story is tough because so much has happened in the last
year. E3 tends to release a
glut of gaming information, not the least of which was the hype
surrounding games like Doom III and Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker
(which is not to be confused with “The Wind Maker” which Omni
claims as his tagline). But
the two stories mentioned above were selected because they hold real
significance. The Sims will
probably become the most played online game ever and take gaming from
the fringe – yeah, it’s still on the fringe – and make it
mainstream to the point of being an acceptable work-time activity.
(Okay, maybe I exaggerate a little.)
Microsoft snatching up Rare was big news for both GameCube and
Xbox fans - the former feeling letdown and the latter feeling a level of
triumph. Although it
remains to be seen how the dust settles on this one, the outcome will be
very interesting.
Best
Description of Game Control: Omni’s review
of Spider-Man (XB) “Imagine you’ve just eaten five bowls of high-octane chili and washed the meal down with prune juice laced with a liquid laxative. The intestinal results are much like Spiderman’s camera – fast and loose.”
Coolest
Videogame Collectible: Kimahri From
Omni’s review: “Truth is, I’m obsessed with this figure so
providing any kind of objective perspective is impossible.”
Best
Use of a Movie License: Spiderman:
The Movie: The Game
Worst
Use of a Movie License: Minority Report
Guilty
Pleasure Award: Godzilla: Destroy All Monsters
Melee (GC) Omni
has a stack of games to review, but most nights he can be found
pummeling cities into rubble, cursing Mothra, and loving every minute of
it.
The
Disturbing But Vaguely Erotic Award: BloodRayne Nothing
is so disturbing as watching a female supermodel vampire latch onto a
Nazi goon and begin to feed – moaning softly and slightly gyrating her
hips.
Best
Crowd of the Year: NHL Hitz 2003 Most
sports games offer an arena full of one-dimensional cardboard cutouts.
NHL Hitz 2003 might have smaller arenas, but they’re packed
with fully 3D crowds and it added to the atmosphere immensely.
Best
Story of the Year: The Elder Scrolls III:
Morrowind (PC, XB) Nothing
else really compares to Morrowind’s wide-open story structure.
It’s like taking part in some kind of interactive fantasy novel
complete with political intrigue, vampires, and enchanted items.
Following the main story is almost impossible - so many side
quests distract from it, that you can’t help but go off and get
involved with some really weird characters.
Plus, the story is somewhat affected by the player choices which
means a high replay factor and a moderately different story.
Best
Interview Quotable from the Armchair Empire: Bill
Linn (Linn PR) Responding
to a comment about glitzy game launches, Bill said, “That’s all
through the industry. Anybody
that thinks they need stars at a party to get journalists jacked-off,
that’s bullshit. That’s
not what it’s all about. It’s
all about the product. And
if people try to make it more than what the product is about then
they’re blowing smoke up people’s asses and they’re wasting
money.”
The “I Wouldn’t Even Play That With Your Joystick” Award: Hooters
Road Trip Runner-up:
BMX XXX
Best
Movie Based on a Videogame License:
Resident Evil
Worst
Movie Based on a Videogame License: Final
Fantasy: The Spirits Within (Note:
If we could have figured out if Ecks Vs. Sever was a videogame turned
into a movie or a movie turned into a videogame, it would have won one
of these "Worst" awards.
As it is, it probably deserved both of them.)
Peanut Butter and Jelly Award (For two games that go together perfectly): GTA: Vice City and Activision Anthology After
a hard day bust’n heads and jack’n rides, there’s nothing I like
better than to settle down at the hotel with some smooth Atari 2600
action.
PC
Game of the Year: Star Wars Jedi Knight II:
Jedi Outcast The
perfect combination of lightsabre combat, first person shooter mayhem,
and using the force to solve puzzles.
Special moves with lightsabres?
How could you not want to play it?
Runners up: Grand Theft Auto 3, Warcraft 3.
(Mark)
Games I Think I Could Have Won but that I Didn't Play Because I Need to
Upgrade My PC: The
Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind, Mafia, Neverwinter Nights.
Best Reason to Spend $500 on a Graphics Card: Doom 3 For
the first time, it might actually be worth your while to shell out the
dough now so that you can be ready for "future games" (i.e.
Doom 3)
Biggest
Disappointment: Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit 2 I
hear the PS2 version is better, but that does me no good.
With the potential to be great, EA delivers a solid but
unsatisfactory game that could have been legendary. Runner
up: Unreal Tournament 2003
Tempting
Reasons to Jump into the Console World:
Virtua Fighter 4, Mortal Kombat:
Deadly Alliance, Dead to Rights, Socom: US Navy Seals.
Best
Returning Franchise: Hitman 2 Yes
I'm horribly biased, as even if Hitman 2 was mediocre I would have found
some award to give it. Luckily
for me, it rocks. Runner up: Soldier of Fortune 2, Aliens Vs. Predator 2, No One Lives Forever 2.
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