Jeff Green (CGW) Interview: Part II

I slept my way to the top, like most gaming editors. I’m the biggest slut in the gaming industry. The ladies know what I’m talkin’ about.

Actually, I had an office already. But I didn’t get a bigger one, or a corner one, or anything like that, when I became EIC. I pretty much got nothing. It was outrageous and I’d like to take this opportunity to officially announce that I work for The Cheapest Bastards On Planet Earth. Thank you.

Well, it’s been rough. There was lots of crying, and gnashing of teeth, at first. One guy even jumped out a window. Fortunately it was a first-floor window, so he basically just bruised his knees. Most of ‘em are behind me now, I think, or else they are planning their coup d’etat very, very quietly.

I was actually thinking more along the lines of "Jeff Green World". How does that sound? For now, I’m planning on keeping Greenspeak. It’s a lot of fun for me to write, and most people are telling me not to give it up, so for now, it’s staying. I’m just going to have the front editorial rotate amongst the rest of the staff, so I don’t hog the spotlight.

Oh man—heck no. I’m like junior assistant copy boy. My wife and daughter run the show. I lay as low as I can and try to stay out of trouble—and fail every day.

To reassert, once and for all, our status as the #1 gaming magazine. To prove to the industry (and everyone else) that a gaming magazine can look great, read great, and not insult people’s intelligence.

Oh yeah, all the time. And when that doesn’t work, I like to just start shrieking really loudly, "Don’t you know who I AM?? I’m Jeff Green! I reviewed SoulBringer!" That’s usually about the time the police haul me away.

We give lots of ‘em away—to friends, families, and to charities. The companies actually don’t send as many as they used to. We used to get BOXES of every game, now, especially with the good ones, we’re usually scrounging for copies. So there’s not as many as you might imagine. However, we do have a pretty awesome library here of pretty much every game you could possibly think of. I like to wander through it and drool.

We work in the nude, every day.

Does Scooter count? He’s been with us since he was 16 years old. He’s mostly house-trained by now.

The Canadian Corner was just a pretty silly joke that escalated beyond all reason. We actually started getting way, way more email about that than anything have to do with gaming. Yeah, I think some readers got genuinely alienated, but it was hard for us to feel too much sympathy – it was really just silly, and I think we made it pretty clear we were just kidding. I mean, our insults were dumb. On purpose. Still, if anyone emailed me personally who was really upset, I tried to email them back to apologize and make it clear we weren’t serious. Do Americans understand Canadians? I think we just think of them as our kind of disheveled, pathetic, retarded little brother. (Another joke!).

Actually I loved this year’s E3. It was a big revitalization for me. Lots and lots of great games. As a Nintendo fanboy, I was really psyched to see the GBA and Game Cube stuff, which looked awesome. But the PC gaming scene was great too – we have nothing to worry about. Star Wars Galaxies, Majestic, Age of Mythology, Wolfenstein, Medal Of Honor --there were just a load of great games this year. The mood was more upbeat than in the last few years.

Money. Profits. Lack thereof. It’s just the same phenomenon happening all over the Web right now. No one has truly figured out how to make that work yet. There are lots of great ideas for web sites, but unless you can figure out how to make money from it, you are just not gonna make it. It’s Business 1A. It’s obvious – but we’ve all had to learn that all over again.

For me personally – it’s overrated. That’s just me. I know we gave it 5 stars, but I don’t get it myself. To me, it’s just way too much work and not enough fun. I have a daughter to raise – I don’t want to spend my gaming time teaching some freakin’ monkey not to eat its own doody. I think some of the AI in that game is incredible – but overall I think it coulda used a stronger injection of fun, and more satisfying rewards.

By being so brutally honest. By saying whatever they want to say and going for the throat. They take on everything and everybody – and they do it in the funniest way possible all the time. I love those guys. I wish I could be half as funny as Erik Wolpaw is over there.

I really think that this is less and less true with every passing year. There’s too much crossover now. There are too many people who have now grown up with multiple systems. I mean, yeah, you could make certain generalizations if you wanted to, but to me it’s just dumb to divide ourselves up that way. And my feeling is that there are great games to experience on all platforms – they’re just different styles of gaming. The two games I’m most in love with right now are Kohan: Immortal Sovereigns on the PC, and Paper Mario on the N64. Needless to say, those games couldn’t be more different. But who cares? Gamers should be less judgmental of each other. They’re just games, man. The rest of the world thinks we’re ALL pathetic.

Sure, yeah. It’ll play itself out. Just like everything eventually does. Remember when DOOM ruled the world? I had a hard drive full of DOOM wads, back in the day. Half-Life is/was an awesome game. It deserves its time in the sun now.

Oh jeez. Well, I’d love to see a great, faithful Lord of the Rings game, but I’m not holding my breath. Snow Crash would be cool. And maybe a great, serious, adult cop noir game based on something by James Ellroy.

Nah. I’ve thought about it. But I lack discipline. And good ideas. And talent. Other than that, I might be the world’s greatest novelist.

I hope so! It’d be nice to see. You know, I’m sure most of the problems with Ultima IX were not his fault directly. I’m sure there was lots of pressure on that team by EA to get the game done – the usual b.s. But I really wish he had taken a stronger stance and put his foot down. I would have been cool, and right, to see him go to war over the integrity of the series he started. I would have loved to hear him say: "Hey, EA—fuck you. Take me to court. But you are not putting MY game out there in this kind of state." But maybe it just wasn’t his game anymore. In any case, it was a sad, pathetic end for a once-great series.

Yow. Nothing has yet come out in 2001 that is a slam-dunk masterpiece. I honestly have no idea at this point. Right now my favorite PC game is Kohan – but that’s probably a long shot for Game of the Year.

I dunno. What’s the alternative, really? Microsoft owns everything? I’m not sure that’s really better for gaming, is it? I’m way less interested in what a company like Bungie is doing, for example, now that they’ve been co-opted and are focussing on the Xbox. And they used to be my favorite independent company.

I think they already have. Man—what a pathetic story they are. Someone should write a book someday. Not me. It’s way too depressing to think about. All that money, all that arrogance, all that time, and for what? What a waste.

It sure didn’t do well at E3, did it? Yeeesh. That was a PR nightmare. And I have less interest in it now than I ever did. I’ll be buying a GameCube at launch, but not an Xbox. But just remember – we used to scoff at Internet Explorer too. And Windows! Microsoft will take its time. Maybe the Xbox flails this year, and the next, and the next – but if they stick with it, who’s gonna doubt that they might not pull it off? They do every damn time.

I’m not sure if it hurts it, to be honest. How nice would it be, to some extent, if we could just establish some kind of "standard" platform for PC gaming? It’s one of the biggest hurdles we face – the endless compatibility problems. I’m sure others will hate me for saying it, but personally, I think, yeah – as far as hardware goes, I’d much rather see ONE company run the show.

Walter Pidgeon??