Jeff Green (CGW): Part III

So, how have the last 12 months been at Computer Gaming World (CGW)? Has the editor-in-chief gig worn thin yet?

It’s been a fine, happy, frolicking time at CGW this past year. No, really! I’m really happy with the current staff—I think it’s the strongest it’s been in a long time, after some shaky times. And it’s helped that it’s been an absolutely phenomenal year for PC games, which has kept the mood up. Any year that can produce both Hooters: Road Trip and a game that uses the Skittles candy license is one that just makes me as happy as a little girl. That’s why I’m dressed like one now.

And, ya know, I can take-or-leave the editor-in-chief gig. It’s no big secret. I’m way too unambitious to lust after power, or even to make decisions. I’d rather just play games and crack jokes. Anything that interrupts those two activities—which happens all the time as editor-in-chief—just tends to annoy me.

How was E3 this year?

Very good! This was my 6^th one, and, I gotta say, going into it, I couldn’t have been less excited. But that’s the great thing about low expectations—they’re easy to beat. I was really surprised by how many cool games there were for the PC. And then there’s the whole getting-away-from-the-family-and-staying-out-late-and-getting

-drunk-for-a-week thing. That didn’t suck either.

Any embarrassing or awkward moments?

I really could have done without the late night, drunken CGW group hugs. I mean, I’m all for hugging. Especially other guys. But there’s at least one editor who has apparently not had a shower or crossed paths with a bar of soap in months. I’m not going to name names, because that would be rude and unprofessional. But his initials are Will O’Neal.

Who had the most interesting booth?

Oh, gosh, I dunno. They’re all the same. Giant monitors, lots of blaring music and videos, half-nekkid girls. Everyone desperately trying to grab your attention. The US Army, of all people, had a great setup for their "America’s Army" game, where they had these guys rappelling down from the Convention Center ceiling. Later we saw those same guys talking to the half-nekkid chicks over at some porno DVD booth. U-S-A!!

Some might say it was the absence of Duke Nukem Forever, but what was the biggest surprise of E3?

You call that a surprise? What are you boys smoking over at Armchair Empire? And can I buy some? I’d say if Duke Nukem Forever actually showed up anywhere in public ever again, that would be the surprise. TRON really surprised me—that game looks awesome, and that is far from the world’s coolest license, except for a certain sub-strata of uber-geeks. Zelda for the GameCube looked neato. And The Sims Online. That was the first time that I understood that that game might actually be fun.

Doom III sure looks neat, but there’s more to life than looks. Will the gameplay rise above just shooting things?

Yeah, I agree, and that’s a fine question. Those are some very clever folks at Activision and id, and they knew how to put together a demo that was the talk of the show. It helped that only like 15 people at a time could see the damn thing, ensuring a long line throughout the week, which only added to the frenzy. And the game looked and sounded amazing from a purely aesthetic standpoint. But, yeah, what about the gameplay? I can’t tell yet whether it’s just going to just be more of the same, or whether they’re going to incorporate more later-generation shooter features, like team play, "realistic" weaponry, and so on. And if they do add those things, is it still going to feel like a Doom game to us? I really don’t know. I sure hope it’s great. I played the first two games for 100s of hours…I’d love for Doom III to be great. I’d also love it if id would give CGW the chance to cover the game. But they can’t ever seem to get over the fact that sometimes we’re not just gonna fawn all over them all the time, so they go running to our competitor instead. Not that I’m bitter.

What was your favorite showing at E3?

Stop asking me about E3!

What were your experiences writing The Art of Warcraft? (Good? Bad? How was it different than your regular writing duties?)

I noticed that a "Jeff Grubb" wrote one of the Warcraft novels. Come clean, how else are you involved with WC3?

I’m the body model for the Night Elf Priestess.

Was Hooters: Road Trip really that bad?

No. I just said that to look sophisticated and sensitive, to impress the ladies. Actually, Hooters Road Trip rules! Especially the opening cinematic stuff, where a bunch of Hooters girls jiggle their rather formidable breastages. Now that’s good gaming.

Erik Wolpaw’s name has been popping up in CGW. Is this something new or should I buy new glasses? And how did he get there?

I love Erik Wolpaw! Literally. Erik, if you’re reading this: I love you. He’s easily one of the funniest and smartest guys in the "gaming journalism" business. He’s been writing for us on and off for awhile now, so it’s nothing overly new. You need new glasses. We got him because, like everyone else, we were fans of Old Man Murray, and wanted him to write for us. So we begged. We pleaded. We bought him lap dances. Then, after his lawyers and our lawyers hashed out a 45-page contract, we finally got him aboard. Now, because of those pictures we acquired of him with barnyard animals, we’ve got him for life.

Gamespot seems to have restricted him to reviewing games. Will CGW permit him to "keep it real" (*see Part II*) with an editorial or two?

Here at CGW, we don’t believe in "keeping it real". That’s for sissies. Actually, I don’t know why I said that. Erik can do whatever he wants, as far as I’m concerned. He can write the whole magazine. All I ask is that he keeps his clothes on. Or at least the black leather thong I bought him last Xmas.

Maybe you’re not allowed to comment, but what do you think of Gamespot’s recent financial model? (Making readers actually pay? What’ll they think of next?)

Ahhh, yeah, I don’t know. I’m a print guy. This whole Internet thing still frightens and confuses me. All I know is, whenever I go to any site now that makes me pay to see stuff, I just go somewhere else. I’m not saying this makes it a bad idea—I’m just saying it’s not for me. Because I’m a cheap bastard. And lazy. I don’t even like to go to sites that make me just sign up for free. As soon as they start making me do stuff—whatever it is---I figure I can just go somewhere else that’s lower-maintenance and get basically the same information, for free. But, hey, if Gamespot can make it work—more power to ‘em.

Do game publishers still pepper the CGW offices with useless knick-knacks to hype their latest games?

Sadly, that whole tchotcke thing has fallen off dramatically over the years, thanks to the collapse of the economy. We still get the occasional piece of junk, but it’s nothing like the old days when we were buried in the stuff. Luckily, we still get t-shirts all the time, which accounts for most of our wardrobes at the magazine.

There seems to be a strange continental gaming divide. Not many PC games from overseas (either Ocean) make a splash in North America and vice versa. Are gamers different from continent to continent?

Oh, I don’t know how true this is. Sure, different countries have their own kinds of games that wouldn’t necessarily translate well abroad, but the big stuff is popular all over. GTA3, WarCraft, Counter-Strike---everybody in the world plays that stuff. On the other hand, there’s not much call for EA Sports’ Cricket game over here. And I’m sure the Japanese never really went for the whole Deer Hunter craze. But all gamers recognize the classics, regardless of nationality.

Should Microsoft have gone with the name "Project Midway" instead of "Xbox"?

Yeah, that was a good one, huh? How about "America’s Console"? Or "KillTheJapsBox"?

Do you think opinion of Tim Schafer has changed among the PC die-hards? I mean, he is making an Xbox game after all. But on the other hand he’s responsible for many, many of the most memorable PC gaming moments and characters.

If the opinion of Tim Schafer has changed among the PC die-hards, then the PC die-hards should lighten the hell up. Schafer has indeed contributed some awesome moments to PC gaming, ones that can never be taken away. Now he’s running his own company, taking his own risks, and he has the right to do whatever the heck he wants. He doesn’t owe PC gamers anything. And the new game looks spectacular.

LucasArts announced work on a sequel to Full Throttle, but didn’t say much else. Is this the harbinger of the return of Adventure Games (at least in North America)?

No. It’s the harbinger of a sequel to the Full Throttle game. I mean, I suppose if it sells 8 bazillion copies, then maybe other companies will start thinking twice again. But, really, this is a unique situation: the sequel to a popular and much-loved game. So the fanbase is built-in already. But it’s not like id and Westwood and Blizzard and Valve and everyone else are waiting with baited breath to see how this does before working on their own adventure games.

How long does it take you to figure out a game’s crap? (Or do you play right to the end then have an epiphany that you just wasted many hours of your life?)

It’s usually obvious to me right away. There’s so many giveaways when a game is lousy. You can smell it. You can smell the lack of caring, the lack of creativity, the desire to just get some piece of shit out onto the shelf in order to make money. But, fortunately, the opposite is true. The awesome games also have that aura about them—an aura that the game developers took pride in their work and made the game for themselves as much as for anyone else. Those are always the best games. Always.

With the widespread misuse/abuse of accounting practices in corporate circles lately, when will the sky coming crashing down on game publishers? (As of this writing Vivendi Universal seems to be in mid-collapse.)

Jeez—I hope never. I wish only good things for all the game companies. Even the ones grinding out the pieces of shit I don’t want to play. Because successful game publishers means I still have a job to go to. Obviously, some companies are going through hell right now (like, where the heck is Interplay? And 3DO?). But let’s all hope that the gaming industry weathers the storm here.

A sissy-fight of epic proportions. But I think those guys actually like each other now. So they’d probably just sit in that cage and blab to each other about video cards or RAM cache or whatever hardware dorks talk about.

In the gaming industry, do PR and Marketing folks get any respect?

They have a tough job. I don’t envy them. How’d you like to be the PR person for the freakin’ Army Men games, and have it be your job to contact game journalists to get them to cover those games? No thanks. But the PR folks who are good at their jobs—and there’s a lot of them—get lots of respect from those of us on the magazine side. The best PR people know how to make our lives easier. They know what we need, and they talk to us honestly about the upcoming titles The PR people that say "I know this game is not the greatest, but please look at it anyway"—those are the ones I love.

How does Valve justify its existence?

Well, they did make one of the greatest games of all time, right? I wish I knew what they were up to now. But I’m not about to second-guess them. Half-Life came out of nowhere, practically, and changed the entire landscape of gaming. So who’s to say they can’t do it again?

Thanks again for your time, Jeff!