Turn Ons:

- Fast computers and women

- Big screen televisions

- Anime

- Alcohol (I love Blasters and Carbombs, they always give you that boost before you hit the dance floor)

- Heavy metal/techno music

Turn Offs:

- Computer games designed only for multiplayer, there aren't cable modems or DSL in my neighborhood yet

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Michael "Tazman" Siewert

Senior Writer

Sounds professional? It’s not. It’s kind of like being the toughest Erasure fan or the first person in line for the new granola bar release… it says something, but not much. Being the third in line for the throne of the Armchair Empire is a challenging role, but then again trying to stage plausible accidents to ascend to power just become too convoluted and lack the sort of “faux style” that I’m accustomed to (or like to tell myself that I deserve… sigh…).

Anyway, as the longest tenured (lazy) writer around here I can remember all sorts of embarrassing stories about Omni and Mr. Nash from high school and all it took was some of their recollections about me to join up for this plan to revolutionize the world. Like the prolific leaders, I have extensive gaming and computer experience (read… no life) going as far back as the stoic Coleco-Vision to the PS2 that sits in my living room and refuses to load games on the first try. Do I “got game”? Hell yea, sucka! I got game you never even heard of!

Besides my previous role as the slowest producing game writer, I’ve also picked up the bulk of the anime reviewing duties. With my burgeoning anime collection (around 700+ DVDs and growing) it seemed a good fit. My list is by no means comprehensive, but it is the listing of shows that I’d probably save first if a fire broke out – and most importantly NO MIYAZAKI (I respect the guy, but dammit, I can’t watch his movies more than once)! When not watching anime, I’m probably either reading manga or… uh… sleeping (I’m really good at sleeping).

Favorite Games:

Coleco: LadyBug, Zaxxon, Donkey Kong, BurgerTime.

Atari 2600: Joust, PacMan.

Nintendo: Super DodgeBall, Techmo Bowl, BaseBall, Blades of Steel.

Super Nintendo: Super Mario World, Chrono Trigger, Final Fantasy II & III, MegaMan X Series, Super Punch Out.

Nintendo 64: GoldenEye, Perfect Dark.

PC: Leisure Suit Larry Series, Space Quest II, Freddy Pharkus, X-Wing, Tie Fighter, Sam and Max, Monkey Island Series, and the Wing Commander Series.

PS & PS2: SSX Series, Smack Down Series, Tekken Tag Tournament, Triple Play Baseball, Chrono Cross, Final Fantasy Anthology, and of course Final Fantasy VII, IX, X.

Favorite Anime:

Neon Genesis Evangelion – watch this show, then watch it again with friends.

Naruto – this show does make me cry from time to time, I’ll admit it .

Cowboy Bebop – style, music, and damn good animation.

Tenchi Muyo Series – OVA for animation, 1^st TV series for story, 3^rd Series for laughs.

Ranma ½ - Hey 1 Takahashi show was going to make the list, and everyone likes Inuyasha, and Urusei Yatsura is a little too old for most people.

Perfect Blue – Probably the best movie that I’ve ever seen; if you liked this watch Millenium Actress.

Ghost In The Shell – awesome movie, but I don’t know about the TV series.

Bubblegum Crisis 2040 – awesome animation.

Dirty Pair – Yeah it’s old… shut the hell up, this is my list.

Dragon Half – Probably the funniest anime ever… yes ever!

Excel Saga – 2^nd funniest anime.

Galaxy Angel – 3^rd funniest anime.

Ninja Scroll – freakin’ awesome movie… if you need another fix, watch the TV series.

Macross Plus – see the OVA version, not the movie version.

Love Hina – don’t know why, but I do.

Long Term Goals:

- Somehow get a free computer… a good one… Dell, I’m looking at you.

- Convince Sierra to make good games again.

- Figure out why the hell Myst was so popular.

- Travel around Europe with Lords of Acid and Praga Khan.

- Get mentioned on TV for something not involving police intervention, a binge eating competition, or drunken accident (that happens once and you never hear the end of it).

- Learn Japanese or Hindi or Cantonese… you know something weird so I can bust it out at difficult moments.

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