Conker’s Bad Fur Day contains which of the following:

1. A hardcore pollination scene.

2. An opera singing pile of poo.

3. A title character not above urinating on his foes.

4. A lot of four-letter words.

5. Blood, guts, and gore.

6. Copious amounts of vomit

7. Lots of movie references

8. All of the above.

Give yourself a gold star if you chose "H." So, I’m giving fair warning to the easily offended and those under 18 years of age to turn back now, because from here it gets a little raunchy.

Conker’s Bad Fur Day (CBFD) from Rareware and Nintendo is one of the most potty-mouthed, disgusting, rude, crass, and sick games I’ve ever played. Needless to say, I love it.

CBFD puts players in control of Conker, a red squirrel, who has just woken from a night of drinking. He wants to get home and sleep it off but he gets sidetracked by various beings needing assistance. This is the basic setup and things spiral out of control from there.

As expected, CBFD is a fantastic looking game. The colours are rich and vibrant, which is handy when you face challenges that can only be overcome with a big ball of shit. Animation is right up there with Rare’s best efforts. Just look at the way the giant breasts on the sunflower bounce! The levels are large and varied. The audio is excellent. There has never been much in the way of voice acting in N64 games but CBFD has plenty. Cutscenes have full dialogue – much of which is full of double entendres and not-so-subtle references to oral sex. CBFD is also the first N64 to use the word "asshole" extensively. Music is very creative. I’ve never heard a music track that incorporated flatulence so well as the background tune for Pooland. (Go to Rare’s site and download the tune!) It’s the only time I’ve laughed out loud over a music track.

Playing the game is fun, there’s no way around it. Control and camera setup are typical of a Rare game, that is to say, they are good. If you’ve played the Banjo-Kazooie games (God rest their souls) or Donkey Kong 64 you’ll be right at home. The roster of moves isn’t as extensive, but this is more than made up for by areas that are "context sensitive."

Usually these areas are in the form of pads. When Conker crosses a context sensitive area you will automatically perform an action that suits the situation. (It’s explained in-game.) This works very well to eliminate any confusion over how to perform a move. For example, in one instance, when crossing a rafter in a barn a light bulb appears over Conker’s head (indicating a context sensitive area). Hitting "B" will whip out a flame-thrower (or whatever is needed in the current situation) and cook dive-bombing bats is a second. (But don’t underestimate Conker’s primary weapon: a trusty frying pan.) The context sensitive areas are usually in handy areas.

This kind of game requires lots of interesting challenges, and CBFD has them in spades. The puzzles range from simple to gross, but Conker doesn’t have to complete them all to win the game. Most are fairly straightforward but others require a little lateral thinking. Getting cows to drink prune juice is easier said than done! Conker’s reward for most challenges is a big wad of money – no Jiggy’s here, but money has the same kind of function of the Jiggies from Banjo-Kazooie.

Each time a puzzle is completed your game is automatically saved. Your progress is also saved every time you move into a different area. This is a great method in comparison to other games like Majora’s Mask that require you to actually remember to save.

Multiplayer is fun, especially if everyone has had a round or two. There are five different multiplayer games: Beach (storm the beach as a Frenchy or defend the coast as a Tedi), Raptor, War (includes a Capture the Flag option), Heist, Tank (with the option to have two players – one controlling the tank, the other controlling the turret), Race, and Deathmatch. Each of them has their own charm, but my favorite is Heist, which requires you to find the bag of money and run for the exit while trying to stay out of harms way. The multiplayer section is grouped in Team Games and Solo Games. Heist, Tank, Race and Deathmatch are all Solo Games, meaning you can’t have any human opponents (like playing Unreal Tournament). Beach, Raptor and War on the other hand, encourage lots of split-screen bedlam. Each mode is explained fully in the manual and there are lots of options to tweak, including frag limit, map, and enemy AI. The usual complaints/praise for split screen for N64 games apply. (i.e. smaller screen size, you get to play games with real people, etc.)

Conker’s Bad Fur Day, is no kids game. (Witness Banjo’s stuffed head over the fireplace, and the Kazooie umbrella in the closet at the title screen.) It says in big letters on the front, "This game is not for anyone under 17," accompanied by ESRB’s "M" rating. I’m sure that some parents will buy this game for their kids only to be stunned later and complain loudly to the media. But these people are mostly fools. Nintendo has gone to great lengths to market CBFD to an older audience – older physically, not mentally. You’ve got to be of a certain mind and sex (i.e. male) to really appreciate CBFD. The humour is low brow, but if you like that kind of thing and you grew up on platform games, Conker’s Bad Fur Day is the game for you. (Just make sure the kiddies are asleep when you fire it up.)