"In case you haven’t been paying attention, avoid this game at all cost. Treat it as radioactive waste or some song sung by Ozzy’s daughter. Consider yourself warned."

Platform: Playstation

Genre: Sports

Publisher: Take Two

Developer: Coresoft

ESRB: E (Everyone)

Released: May 2002

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Big Bass Fishing

Big Bass Fishing is a bargain title, and it shows. At least that is what I assume is wrong with the game, but I could be wrong. Here is my theory: instead of having, say, two hundred thousand dollars to put behind the project, as a budget title, the developer had only around one hundred thousand. Because of this, they had to leave out a few things, namely fun, challenge, and an engine for the game’s boat.

You read that correctly; this fishing boat has no engine. It’s been a long time since I played a fishing game that didn’t allow you to tool the boat around the lake to find a good fishing spot. Even free Shockwave fishing games tend to include this feature. But not Big Bass Fishing. Your boat is anchored to the ground. The only options you have are whether to cast your line left, right, or straight down the middle, and exactly how hard to cast it (though, regardless of power, the line ends up within a few pixels of the same location most of the time).

But hey, that flaw could probably be overlooked if the game was fun and challenging, right? Of course. The problem is Big Bass Fishing is none of these things. There is no skill involved in catching a fish at all. If you use the right bait, you will get a hit. If you don’t, you won’t. End of story. Game play for Big Bass Fishing is simply rock, scissors, paper—but without that game’s randomness because, get this, you can ask the local fisherman which bait to use and they will tell you. What’s the opposite of challenging? Easy, obviously. But if the game is so easy, why did it give me such a headache? (Maybe it is my acute bad game allergy that’s been acting up a bit lately).

Finally, Big Bass Fishing doesn’t stop with simply offending a player’s taste in gaming; they have to go straight for the reproductive organs also. BBF features a pixilated, busty blonde fisherwoman who spouts off lewd double entendre’s as you fish (I’ll leave the actual quotes to the reader’s imagination; trust me your quips will be more clever). It is truly, truly sad.

In case you haven’t been paying attention, avoid this game at all cost. Treat it as radioactive waste or some song sung by Ozzy’s daughter. Consider yourself warned.

- Tolen Dante

(June 30, 2002)