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Score: 3.5 / 10
For some strange and sometimes crazy
reason, motion picture companies feel that it is absolutely in the best
interest of the film to produce a dire videogame bearing the same name.
We have seen it happen many times in the past, and it seems they all
follow the same trend: They all are a waste of time. But this should
come as no surprise, seeing as the only reason a videogame for a movie
is made, is to generate what little profit it can. Unfortunately, rarely
do any of these games generate any profit.
The Italian Job is a remake of a 1969 film with an all-star cast of
actors that is really quite enjoyable. The Italian Job videogame is the
complete antithesis. As soon as the game is launched, you see how rushed
this game was, in order to be released timely with the opening of the
film. The cars look like moving boxes of
cardboard and the setting looks absolutely
miserable, making the gaming experience nothing like the movie
The missions, 15 of them, all rotate around the same “Crazy Taxi” method
that has been reapplied to numerous games, but never feels the same. The
Italian Job creates a poor interface of time management and repetitive
missions of driving from point A to point B. After a half hour, you’ll
find yourself bored of the boredom.
mentioned before, the graphics are nothing compared to the standards of
today and distort whatever “fun” there once was. The Mini Coopers do
have some credibility in terms of graphics, though still showcasing many
flaws. In other words, the graphics are terrible.
The sound is that of any other racing game, with the same “vroom” and
“whoosh” of passing cars. The only difference is that those other games
are far better than The Italian Job. The music is subtle, featuring the
same “heist-like” tempo seen in the movie. The worst part, believe it or
not there is one, is the voice acting. I honestly believe that this game
has the worst voice acting ever. I think SNES games have better voice
acting then The Italian Job. Every mission starts off with the same
voice, telling you about your mission and how to accomplish it.
Fortunately, you can skip these awful encounters; though not listening
to them might cause you to loose track of the story.
In terms of extra features, the game does have scenes from the movie and
a two-player mode. Chances are you’ll turn to the scenes of the movie to
relieve your wasted time, though that still won’t help. The two-player
mode is just as boring as the single-player, except this time you have
someone that can share your pain alongside of you.
If The Italian Job was a disease, it would surely be more dangerous than
SARS. In other words, stay as far away from this game as possible. If
you’re looking to waste some time, start to beat yourself over the head
with the game box. Trust me that is a more pleasant experience then
having to play this game. To end my flurry of disdainful comments for
The Italian Job, I'll leave you by saying: I don’t get paid enough.