"There’s
no other way for me to say this: Serious Sam is a great game."
Imagine
if you will that the Xbox first-person shooter Serious Sam is just like
that blind date your friends have been trying to set you up on. You know
what I’m talking about, guys: that blind date with the girl who
you’ve heard has a “nice personality” and a “great sense of
humor.” You’ve also seen pictures of her not-so-attractive older
sister. And to top it all off, there’s only twenty bucks in your
pocket to take her out on the town with. Also imagine that after
reluctantly agreeing to finally go out on the blind date, you find
she’s not only got a “nice personality” and “great sense of
humor” but she happens to look just like Jaime Pressly, your twenty
spot gets you dinner and drinks followed by a movie, and to top it all
off you hit a bedroom homer at the end of the night.
What’s
all that got to do with Serious Sam? Serious Sam is a port of a
“older” Doom-style PC title that wasn’t too visually appealing.
Instead, it merited reasonably good reviews on the strength of its
addicting FPS gameplay (which doesn’t always translate well from PC to
console) starring a personable lead character with a wisenheimer
attitude. And when a console game drops from $50US to $20US not long
after its release, it’s not usually an endorsement of the game’s
quality.
But
those supposed warnings of impending gaming-mediocrity doom mean little,
because Serious Sam is one seriously awesome game, with greatly
Xbox-improved looks to go along with the superb gameplay that happens to
translate well from the PC to Xbox, and an unbelievable amount of fun
gaming packed in. Serious Sam is so good, I’ll even go so far to say
that it’s one of the top five best Xbox games released in 2002 that
blindsided everybody with its unexpected excellence.
Serious
Sam continues in the great line of FPS titles that were spawned from the
first Castle Wolfenstein. If you like Doom, Duke Nukem, Unreal, or
Quake-style gaming, then you’ll know what kind of action to expect out
of Serious Sam. There is a story in Serious Sam but, in the FPS
tradition that has preceded it, the plot takes a co-starring backseat to
the real star of the game, the FPS gory mayhem of blowing
up/shooting/chain-sawing/hacking every enemy in sight.
That
plot, and the dialogue contained within, makes the title of Serious Sam
a misnomer. Just like Duke Nukem, nothing in this game should be taken
seriously and you could almost believe that the game’s hero, Sam
“Serious” Stone, could be Duke Nukem’s cousin. Stone’s got the
whole Duke Nukem attitude going for him, right on down to the
smart-alecky remarks he’s always tossing around alongside a few
well-placed projectiles. Stone is the earth’s last hope against the
monster master from another dimension, MENTAL. In his quest to defeat
MENTAL, Stone gets to travel throughout time with the Time-Lock relic,
visiting exotic locales from ancient Egypt to merry old England of days
gone by.
All
kinds of bizarro enemies are after our hero Stone, including Kleer
Skeletons, Cucurbito the Pumpkin (complete with requisite pumpkin head),
Zumb’ul From Planet Ras-Ad-Nyk (say that five times fast), Bio-Mechanoid,
many beheaded denizens, Gnaar, and the ever-charging and scary Sirian
Werebull. There’s always plenty of baddies to keep Stone on his toes
and sweat on your palms. This is one tough game. You’ll never find
anybody that’s played Serious Sam complain about not being challenged
by the game’s artificial intelligence.
Filling
those huge levels is wave after wave of bad guys. The game gets really
intense near the close of each level. Stone gets placed in an enclosed
arena-type battleground. You literally need to kill over 500 enemies, 25
or so at a time, to complete the level and move on. Let me tell you, the
loud sound of the onrushing hooves of 25 enormous Sirian Werebulls is
enough to get your heart beating and your brow sweating. The only
downside to this is that the gameplay can get repetitive, because this
is how every level ends. But with so many opponents to worry about,
you’ll have precious few moments to reflect on repetition.
To
assist fighting that bevy of monsters, Stone has the arsenal to do the
job. There are rocket launchers, grenade launchers,
flame-throwers, laserguns, cannons, bombs, shotguns, chainsaws, pistols,
revolvers, and machine guns all at Stone’s disposal. There’s also
tons of power-ups and items to help make annihilating MENTAL’s minions
easier.
The
game’s levels are HUGE. I couldn’t believe how long it took to
complete the entire game, and I mean that in a very, very good way. This
game, which I expected wouldn’t last me more than 10 hours of
game-time to complete, took me over 30! And that has nothing to do with
my FPS game skills either. The development team did a great job bringing
a long-lasting, enjoyable gameplay experience to the gamer.
The
ONLY negative I had with the long game-hours was the ending. After going
through all that shooting and killing, and squaring off against one
tough-mutha ending boss, the game gives you the bad news that MENTAL is
still on the loose. How’d they do that? “To be continued” comes up
on the closing screen. The good news is a sequel, the bad news is a
feeling of being letdown.
Graphically,
the game is unbelievably excellent, especially for anyone that had a
passing glance at its source, the original Serious Sam for the PC. The
PC version looked a lot like Doom II, and believe me, with today’s
rendering power of the PC, that’s not meant as a compliment. The
developers of the PC game were more concerned with creating a great
playing game instead of a great looking game. If any area of the game
could have suffered from port-itis, the visuals would have been it. But
the Xbox version of Serious Sam must have had its port-itis booster
shots, because Serious Sam underwent a complete graphical transformation
from the PC to the Xbox. This surprisingly (or maybe not-surprisingly,
considering what the Xbox is capable of, visual-wise) is one
fine-looking game.
On
top of everything else that Serious Sam does great, the game’s
controls are nice and FPS-tight. A lot of people complain about the
original Xbox’s bigger controller. Personally I think it’s perfect
for FPS games and Serious Sam is no exception. This game’s controls
rival Halo’s almost-perfect FPS setup. And the final cherry on top for
Serious Sam is a four-player multiplayer deathmatch mode and a
co-operative mode such as is seen in Halo. Whether it’s Serious
Sam’s single-player or multiplayer modes you play, you’ll get more
than your money’s worth.
There’s
no other way for me to say this: Serious Sam is a great game. Seriously.
If I knew this title was this good when it first appeared in stores, I
would have gladly paid $50US for it. All the better bargain for me that
I spent just a mere 20 bucks for Serious Sam. While it isn’t the Game
of the Year, Serious Sam surely must be the Gaming Bargain of the Year
2002. Great gameplay, great graphics, great levels, great lead
character, great amount of gaming-time hours: you name it this game does
it GREAT. Everybody that owns an Xbox, go out and buy Serious Sam. It
belongs in your gaming collection NOW. Oh, and if someone has been
trying to set you up on a blind date, don’t hesitate. Just remember
this Serious Sam review and you may thank me later.