Frankenstein (McFarlane's Monsters)

by McFarlane Toys

The Armchair Empire was finally able to track down Frankenstein, working as a fashion consultant down under in Australia. We were even able to get in on the McFarlane's Monsters' busy schedule and get an interview.

Greetings, Frankenstein! How are you today?

Well, not great, if you must know. It seems my creator got mixed up and called me by my doctor's name, which seems to be confusing a lot of people.  Not to mention the fact that I'm part man, part machine, and covered in blood.

I see, Franky. Um... that blood is your own, isn't it?

Some of it. Actually, this splatter across my arm blade was from an interviewer who kept calling me stupid names.

Right then. So, tell me about yourself?

Well, I'm 6" tall, and as I mentioned, part man, part machine, all fashion. I'm always in! Look at my cool gold shoulder pads, and this clean skull! What do you think about all of these nasty scars and stitches? Check out all of these groovy rusted metal plates all over my legs! Not to mention the chains! And this wonderful cage on my back where I keep Steve!

Steve?

Yes, he's the rubber skeleton that I keep on my back. He's removable with abit of effort, and really well sculpted, just like me!

.. Anyway, with all that "fashionable" machinery, how can you move? Those chains look pretty restricting.

That's where you're wrong. I'm well articulated, my still-breathing friend! I've even got a bit of playability in me - not that any well-adjusted kid should be playing with me, that is. After all, my mechanical things might break.

Even though you're splattered with blood, you don't look as gory as the other monsters.

Oh, don't be silly. If you take a look at Steve on my back here, you can see not only his exposed 

intestines, but also some other organs including his stomach! Also, if I pry off my mask here, look at my skull and brain! Not to mention if Steve comes out of his cage, you can see all the muscles on my back where the skin was ripped off, still bloody! Ain't that something?

Yeah, [puke] I guess so.

Plus I've got heaps of other tiny details that you wont notice until you have a good look at me! Like all of these little gold belts and buckles made out of nice soft plastic! And my cool utility belt with lots of little pockets! And don't you think these creepy sharp hooks hanging above Steve are cool? They move, just like real hooks! Whoops, did I get your eye?

Umm... could you drop me off at the hospital?

Sure, I'm on my way to a fashion conference anyway.

- Shocka

(June 6, 2002)