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Series: McFarlane’s
Monsters 1
Craftsmanship: 8.7
out 10
- Entrails have never looked
so good
- Great detail and sculpt
- Stands very easily
- Good articulation
- Definitely for true horror fans
Playability: 2.0
out of 10
- You’re going to play with Werewolf? Yeah, right.
- Some extremely sharp bits
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Werewolf
(McFarlane’s Monsters) by McFarlane
Toys
It’s not every day you get to sit down with a
legend, especially one as notorious and feral as Werewolf. The Armchair Empire’s
Omni was recently granted an exclusive interview with Werewolf from the
McFarlane’s Monsters series. What follows is an abridged transcript.
AE: Please, sit down.
Werewolf: Sorry, my spine is kind of sticking out my back so sitting down right
now
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isn’t an option. Plus thsee damn shoulder blades
would play havoc with the upholstery.
Ah, yes I can see that now. Well, standing up helps with digestion. By the
way, you’ve got something on your collar.
Oh that – those are my intestines.
Please, [gagging slightly] just for the record, tell us about
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yourself.
Well, I suppose I’m just your average werewolf action figure, with way more
buckets of gore. I’m about 6” tall – taller still if you count my big blade –
and I’ve got lots of detail. I mean, c’mon, just look all these metal hooks
sticking out of me. And don’t forget the ripping skin and my great paint job.
Yes, but there must be more to Werewolf than that. [gagging again]
I’ve got pretty good articulation, with some poseability but nothing radically
different.
Might I inquire about the chains? Where did they come from?
Well, my recollection is a little foggy. Must have been some kind experiment.
I’ve got to ask this question: Are you really a bloodthirsty killing machine?
I’m not evil I’m just sculpted that way. I mean seriously, I may be disgusting
on the outside but on the inside… [choking back tears] no one has ever really
loved me. It’s true that I ate those college kids but that’s no reason not to
love me! I love people, why can’t they love me? [still sobbing] My two biggest
loves are collecting stamps and volunteering at the animal shelter but do you
think anyone cares? Cares about me… deep down my heart aches with loneliness!
Surely though, you must have some playability.
You’d think so wouldn’t you? I guess I’m just too disgusting [much anguished
sobbing] Plus, these sharp bits… I’ve never been hugged! The tubing from my head
into my shoulder can be pulled out easily too. And these chains they’re plastic.
How bad could I be if they didn’t think I could break out of plastic chains?
Are you in any kind of therapy or taking any medications?
I was on medication but it made me dizzy – I could hardly stand up. But now I’m
off that and onto intense Yoga meditation, and I can stand no problem.
Yoga meditation, tell me about that.
It allows me to reach deep down inside myself and pull out all the bad things.
[holding up an object] See? My spleen’s not is very good shape.
Thank you [big splash of vomit] for your time.
It’s been fun.
(May 14, 2002) |
