
	Platform Genesis Genre Puzzle Developer / Publisher Sega Released 1990
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Columns

“I know Tetris, and you, sir, are no Tetris.”

This was the thought that ran through the mind of many a Genesis owner in the early 90s as Sega brought out their answer to Nintendo’s runaway hit. Columns was a game where players had to match up colored gems that slowly fell from the top of the screen in rows of three.

On paper, it may have seemed like a good idea, trying to recapture the frenetic, yet strategic nature of Tetris. However, it didn’t take gamers long to figure out that success in Columns came much more through luck than well-placed gems. As one’s pile slowly built up at the bottom of the screen, it was easy to skim gems off the top of the thing, but the problems came in how the remaining blocks would cascade down, and eliminate other rows of columns in unpredictable ways.

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Even worse was the incredibly mundane music playing in the background the entire time. Tetris had some nice peppy music that got people’s toes tapping, but the tunes in Columns were such slow, soulless tripe that about the only thing someone would feel like doing after playing is take a nap. It was truly sad, and the visuals weren’t much better. The jewels in the columns were kinda sparkly and pretty, but the background, interface, and everything else had these drab, worn out colors like one might expect to see on wallpaper at their grandparents’ place.

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It’s really a wonder that this game got released, and even more so that the thing spawned a bunch of sequels and even appeared on the Game Gear. One really gets the sense that some executive at Sega was desperately trying make this series into a success, because it was his butt on the line if it didn’t, yet each new installment was a bigger waste of time than the one before it.

Some say that imitation is the greatest form of flattery, but all Columns managed to do was remind gamers just how good of a puzzle game Tetris was. It’s not often that a company inadvertently promotes their competition’s goods, but kudos for the Sega of the 90s for somehow pulling it off.

Mr. Nash

(April 1, 2006)