The Coffee Table (July 2005): Columns

It's that time again, where Omni and Mr. Nash get together and discuss the various going-ons in the game industry. It's no mean feat trying to do this in mid-July, when most developers are either quietly working on games, or enjoying some fun in the sun, but AE's founders have still managed to find plenty of stuff to talk about. This month they look at the recent Hot Coffee controversy, IGN going public again, the EA / Valve distribution deal, John Romero leaving Midway, and many other happenings.

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The Coffee Table:

July 2005 Month in Review

Omni:

Let's just jump in. Since this is the Coffee Table we should start with Hot Coffee -- the GTA "mod" that has received a lot of attention lately.

Mr. Nash:

I figure if people want to fiddle around with virtual sex, that's their business. If parents don't like it, why the hell are they buying the game. It's M Rated afterall.

Omni:

I'd have to agree. But at the end of the day, I think it'll be the ESRB that gets the shaft on this.

Mr. Nash:

There's far funkier stuff on the Net that people should be worrying about than some GTA mod.

Omni:

In my mind, there's still the issue of "Who did what." (Don't take that the wrong way.) But was it the result of dedicated hackers or did Rockstar include it in the first place then "pull out" the content so it was inaccessible?

Mr. Nash:

All of this is just the usual, convenient fear mongering that politicians and the media love so much.

Omni:

And they're jumping all over it. But it makes sense. All the other GTA games came under fire for particular issues -- Kill the Haitians, visiting prostitutes for health -- I was wondering what kind of stink San Andreas would kick up.

Mr. Nash:

Yeah, all we can do is wait for this generation of politicians to grow old and die, so we don't have to listen to this "Oooo, videogames are bad!" crap.

Omni:

You can't buy advertising like the mainstream media is giving San Andreas! It's saving Take 2 a ton on advertising! And speaking of money.... IGN?

Mr. Nash:

Yeah, I'm surprised they're going public again. And saying they're worth $800 million?!?

Omni:

With that kind of logic, I'm worth at least $50,000.00. Maybe I should go public.

Mr. Nash:

Must have made a fortune off the McGriddles. It's some insane money, but that's what places like the firm that initially bought up IGN in 2003 do. Buy up a property, add some extras to it, in this case stuff like Gamespy and 3D Gamers (among others), and then turn around and sell it for a king's ransom. Or at least try to...

Omni:

And who's going to buy in? I mean, it's IGN. IGN! (Not that I have anything against IGN.)

Mr. Nash:

As to whether or not IGN gets the money they're looking, who knows. Reading the financials that were released when they said they were going public again, the word "defecit" came up an awful lot. But what do I know. :\ I have no idea who will buy in. They were already taken private once after being publicly traded, how do we know this won't happen again? Last time out, things didn't look pretty for IGN, but now they have a subscription service, which I reckon makes them a pretty penny, so maybe it's a better investment this time.

Omni:

I just don't get it. Will there be a lot of gamers out there waiting to grab a piece of their favorite gaming site? Or are they trying for the dot-com era "stock option" nonsense?

Mr. Nash:

Even looking beyond IGN to what a lot of companies are doing investing in various sites out there, I'm starting to wonder if a new dot-com bubble is coming. Did everyone see Google's stock triple in about a year and decide that they want in?

Omni:

And speaking of investing and the like, what is this about EA publishing Valve games at retail?

Mr. Nash:

That EA / Valve deal completely broad-sided me.

Omni:

Yeah, never even had an inkling.

Mr. Nash:

With all of this hoopla over Steam since Half-Life 2 came out, I was under the impression that they would continue to push that service further.

Omni:

Same here. I thought I'd be buying the expansion pack over Steam -- I'd rather do it at retail. Course some of the details on the deal are still lacking.

Mr. Nash:

Thankfully, EA isn't outright buying Valve, and the whole thing just looks like a distribution deal. What we'll have to wait and see is if EA tries to strong-arm Valve like they have been rumored to do to other developers in the passed.

Omni:

And Valve will probably just shrugg and carry on. I'm not so sure that it's anything but a distribution deal, like you said.

Mr. Nash:

Yeah, I'm sure EA had to make A LOT of concessions to get this deal. Valve are the ones with the advantage here, if they didn't go with EA, there's a small army of publishers out there that would be happy to have a deal with Valve.

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Omni:

The other bit of surprising news was that Psychonauts hasn't sold well. Critically acclaimed, Tim Shafer is behind it, and it's friggin' fun to play... what's wrong with you people!! Buy it!

Mr. Nash:

And the brilliant thing on the part of the marketing folk at Majesco is that they decided to put ads for that buggy piece of crap, Advent Rising, everywhere instead of a top notch game like Psychonauts. Brilliant. Just brilliant.

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Omni:

Is it too abstract? Do people just not get it? Here's a great game that should be flying off the shelves. I'm hoping it's a slow burn...

Mr. Nash:

If anything burns it should be Majesco's marketing people. What were they thinking? Did they bother to play both games? If they did, obviously not for long enough.

Omni:

Advent Rising went big but kind of exploded. One was polished to a sheen. The other was polished to sheen, in some really specific areas.

Mr. Nash:

Yeah, their idea of polish for Advent Rising must have been to have some guy at the pressing plant with a shammy, giving each disc a quick rub. "I can see my face in it! Mission accomplished!"

Omni:

Damn this is a slow time of year for games... Want to talk about Sony's Cell Processor? I'm getting tired of reading headlines with Kutaragi dribbling out details on the thing and the whole hype that's building. It may or may not be able to launch a ballistic missile, but it had better be able to make a decent cup of coffee. A trillion, billion instructions per second or a solid dark cup 'o' joe? Joe for me.

Mr. Nash:

I still think all of the new consoles are coming out at least a year too early. Like I said in my editorial last week, cheap used games will be the toast of the town when the consoles launch, 360 and PS3 not so much.

Omni:

Yeah, this gen is coming too early. Games will be really cheap! At least used ones.

Mr. Nash:

All of this power doesn't mean a damn thing. There's a few games heading to the 360 and PS3 that look kinda neat, but by and large everything is shaping up to be more of the same, only prettier.

Omni:

Or bouncier. I'll say one thing though, I like the look of the 360 controller more than the PS3. I know everything prototype, etc. but the PS3 control looks way too much like boomerang.

Mr. Nash:

I don't like that you can't balance anything on top of the PS3. At least you can put things on the 360. The only system that really interests me at the moment is the DS, and the sad thing there is that it's mostly Japan where it's doing really well (at least when you compare it to North America).

Omni:

Yes, the "breathing" 360 -- I hope they don't put too much emphasis on that during the marketing campaign. I find the DS a fine, fine platform. Meteos is a bit of genius. And, uh, I'm looking forward to Nintendogs.

Mr. Nash:

Speaking of the DS, I hope that Blizzard goes through with releasing Diablo II and Starcraft on it. Those two would really work well on the platform.

Omni:

Any RTS, please! I can't wait to see some RTS titles. The touchsreen seems a natural for that kind of game.

Mr. Nash:

With the stylus, it just makes sense.

Omni:

I think the multiplayer would also kick ass.

Mr. Nash:

Might as well get some mileage out of that wireless stuff everyone has been yammering about the last while.

Omni:

Are PSP owners second-guessing their purchase?

Mr. Nash:

I think the problem with the PSP library is that the majority of titles on it are things you can already do on the PS2 and Xbox, making the handheld an iffy investment. Sure Poindexter C. Computer-Geek will buy the thing without a second thought, but if Sony really wants the PSP to be a hit with the every man, bring new franchises to it, don't regurgitate old ones in a stripped-down, crippled package.

Omni:

Or just give the go-ahead to the porn producers.

Mr. Nash:

Porn is already showing up in Japan. But then again, it is Japanese porn, riddled with mosaics. If the big US porn peddlers get on the PSP bandwagon, we could be in for a hell of a ride!

Omni:

But don't just tolerate it, actively promote it. "Our handheld has porn!" That's why Betamax failed -- the porn guys jumped on VHS. Hey, John Romero left Midway.

Mr. Nash:

So what is he doing? Is he being like Kain and wandering the land? Is he the new David Karadine?

Omni:

Oh man, that might be a good profession. Actually, who the hell wouldn't want to be like that? Dispensing advice and justice.

Mr. Nash:

And all with a ... calm ... halted ... sort of ... speaking ...

Omni:

Yeah, it's pretty much a dead time isn't it? It'll pick up toward the end of August.

Mr. Nash:

Yeah, Q4 will be here soon enough and with it...the rage...RAGE!

Omni:

Oh man, it's already started!

Mr. Nash:

Maybe we should encapsulate all of our reviews in Haiku poems. If you can't get your opinions of a game across clearly in exactly 17 syllables you should quit the profession.

Omni:

That's about all some games deserves.

(July 19, 2005)


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